It’s one thing to maintain the relationships you already have, but another to live with an open heart ready to to extend kindness and friendship to strangers in your midst. Welcoming the stranger is better known as hospitality, and it is a skill we all need a refresher on. Throughout history Christians have been known as the most hospitable people and we need to reclaim that reputation in a world filled with lonely people.
Message
How do we become closer to people we’re already connected with?
How can we open our lives to people we’re not yet connected with?
Sometimes we’re uncomfortable opening our homes or our lives to strangers. It no longer comes naturally in our culture. Ever since we had to begin teaching our children about “Stranger Danger,” it’s not surprising that our culture is moving away from a warm welcome of strangers. People seem more comfortable closing ranks, retreating to their own families or small groups of friends, and leaving new people on the outside.
We learned from last week’s message that all humans have been wired for relationships. It’s important that we offer that relational connection to those on the outside looking in. Hospitality – inviting guests to join us, whether at our homes, or at a restaurant, or at church – is the first step in forming new connections with others.
I have found that Americans have a very different view of hospitality than people in other cultures and other times. Some might think in terms of the hospitality industry: home-cooked meals and comfy beds. Motel 6 will even leave the light on for you. Other people might think more on the lines of “Martha Stewart Living” hospitality. Before inviting guests, you must have a perfectly decorated home and a lavish meal.
Instead of letting our culture’s view of hospitality shape us, I would rather we look to the Bible. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t give us many clear instructions about how to practice hospitality. Instead, scripture follows the Nike slogan: “Just do it!”
- Romans 12:9 – Practice Hospitality.
- Titus 1:8 – [An overseer] must be hospitable. . . .
- 1 Peter 4:9 – Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
There is little doubt that we, as Christians, need to be a hospitable people open to forming new relationships and caring for strangers. The question is: What does that look like for us today?
- I heard a sermon about a pastor who noticed a homeless family parking their car on his street. He put the family up in a hotel numerous cold nights at his own expense.
- I’ve read blogs about people who invite new people at church to join them at a restaurant for Sunday lunch.
- I hear stories from my missionary friends in the Middle East about how their entire routine is based on making room for others in their lives. They must be willing to drop everything for the entire day if a friend stops by in the morning (and stays until bedtime).
Clearly, the spectrum of what hospitality could look like is WIDE. I don’t want to say all of us should feel bad if we aren’t paying for hotel rooms for every homeless person we encounter. Neither do I want to leave the picture of hospitality so vague that splitting the restaurant check with friends gives you the false impression that you are following the Bible’s instructions to be hospitable. Friendly, sure – but that’s not hospitality.
Biblical Examples of Hospitality
My goal for today is to show you how you can bring an attitude of hospitality to virtually every situation in your personal life and in the life of our church. To do that, we need to look for patterns in the Bible. While the Bible doesn’t define what hospitality MUST look like, it has many stories of hospitality that point out the important features.
Genesis 18:2-5 – Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.”
Abe didn’t know what we learned in verse 1: this was actually the Lord appearing to him. Still, he immediately took dramatic action to care for these guests.
In another story we see Abraham’s nephew, Lot, offering the same hospitality. His story gets very messy very quickly, but suffice it to say that Lot offered protection to his guests when the men of the village want to harm them.
Genesis 19:1-3 –The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”
“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”
But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate.
Rebekah and Laban show similar hospitality to Abraham’s servant in Genesis 24. The Torah (the Jewish law) requires people to provide for foreigners and strangers traveling through.
In the New Testament, Jesus’s and Paul’s entire ministries were based on the hospitality of Jews and new followers of Jesus. It was simply the way God’s people operated. This was so well known that even antagonists toward Christianity took notice. Peregrinus, a charlatan, was taking advantage of the Christian community during his imprisonment. Lucian, the Roman satirist, wrote in 165 AD:
“From as far away as Asia Minor, Christian communities sent committees, paying their expenses out of the common funds, to help him with advice and consolation. The efficiency the Christians show whenever matters of community interest like this happen is unbelievable; they literally spare nothing (Lucian Peregr. 12-13, in Greer, 119-20).”
Biblical Patterns of Hospitality
From these examples (and others I haven’t mentioned), some biblical patterns begin to emerge.
Friend and Stranger. In the Genesis accounts I shared, we see strangers being offered hospitality. In fact, these stories were so widely known they are referred to in Hebrews 13:1-2:
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
Interestingly, this verse weaves love of one another with love of strangers. The Greek word for hospitality literally means “love of strangers.”
Also, while Jesus is sitting at a party hosted by a Pharisee, He tells them in Luke 14:12-14:
When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and you will be repaid. (13) But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, (14) and you will be blessed.
Our first lesson about hospitality, then, is that it is not limited to people you know and trust or people you are comfortable with and share things in common with. Our attitude of hospitality must extend even to strangers who are different from us.
Christian and Non-Christian. To whom are Christians supposed to show hospitality?
Often hospitality is tied to the term “one another,” definitely pointing to other followers of Jesus; but when we care for strangers’ needs we have no knowledge of their spiritual condition.”Meeting the needs of friends and strangers” means showing hospitality regardless of whether people are or are not following Jesus. Our hospitality is not based on their spiritual condition, but our own! We open our hearts and our homes to people not because they are special or because we owe them, but because that’s what it means to be a Christian. We are meant to lavishly love others.
Activity and Affection. Showing welcome to others is more than just what we do for them. It is love in action; but if done with a spirit of grumbling or duty, it is not hospitality.
The action of bringing in a stranger and caring for them should connect their heart with yours. Hospitality should leave a person feeling appreciated rather than feeling like they are an annoyance. Believe me, a person can tell if your actions are not done with affection; and it makes all the difference in the world. That’s why Peter tells us to offer hospitality “without grumbling.” Otherwise it doesn’t count.
Host and Guest. In this discussion of hospitality, I’m sure most of you have thought of yourselves in the role of host. The reality is that at some time or another we find ourselves in the role of guest, and we stink at it!
If someone tries to pick up the entire bill after a shared dinner out, how willing are you to allow it? If someone offers to bring you meals after you’ve had surgery, do you struggle to receive that generosity? We need to stop being so self-sufficient and allow others to bless us with their hospitality.
In my research for this message I came across an article by Ed Stetzer about the difference between entertaining others and being hospitable. I think it encapsulates how one can be a good host:
- Bless, not impress;
- Savor, not stress;
- Listen, not babble;
- Include, not exclude.
Reading this list reminded me that even though Jesus never had His own Martha-Stewart-decorated home, He was a fabulous host – even when He wasn’t the host.
- Blessing. Jesus was not a man of eloquent words, seeking to draw all attention to himself. At the wedding in Cana He tried to keep quiet, but His mom made him fix the problem of running out of wine. He didn’t turn the water to wine for His own glory, but he blessed everyone there and saved the host of the party from embarrassment.
- Savoring. In Luke 10 we see Jesus spending time with His disciples in the home of Martha, who was stressed about making sure all the preparations for the meal were made. Jesus stopped her and told her to slow down and savor the moment like her sister Mary was doing.
- Listening. Jesus told a lot of parables and taught about the kingdom of heaven, but we also see Him as an incredible question-asker. Questions invite dialogue, not monologue. If you find you do all the talking with guests, stop, take a breath, and ask a question.
- Including. In a world where only men mattered, Jesus included Martha and Mary. He invited the children to come to Him. He touched the lepers and spoke with the lame beggars. He connected most deeply with His friends, the disciples, but He was also an includer who never made others feel like outsiders.
The clearest example of Jesus hosting others took place the night He was betrayed. As He and His disciples celebrated the Passover meal, Jesus performed many of the duties of a hospitable host, reminiscent of Abraham before Him. He washed His disciples’ feet, broke the bread, and passed the cup. He made room for them in His last days.
The real heart of hospitality is making room for others. Making physical room for them in your home – providing a place to spend the night. Making room for them to join you at your dinner table or in your pew at church. Making room for them in your calendar. Making room for them in your heart, moving them from stranger to friend.
God is greatly concerned that we make room for others in our lives – that we go beyond our usual level of hospitality – because He has gone so far to care for us, to connect with us, to make room for us.
Jesus told His disciples in John 14:2-3:
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
Today we walk around this world like Abraham, as strangers in a strange land, waiting to be received home with God. We know the hospitality He lavishes on us every single day, and we look forward to the incredible banquet we will share with Him in heaven.
And while we wait, we take the opportunity to demonstrate to the world a glimpse of the ultimate host, the One who invites strangers and sinners to come and eat with Him. He is the One whose affection for us was so great that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for us. He will care for us, protect us, meet our needs, and converse with us.
We offer our Father’s house to this world.
Conclusion
I hope you see that hospitality is more than sharing a meal; it is sharing a life. It is opening your time, your heart, your home and your friendship to a stranger.
Yes, it is costly. Yes, there are times when you feel too tired, too busy, too connected to maintain the friendships you already have; but hospitality is not optional.
I’m not saying you can’t have boundaries. We’ll talk about that in a few weeks. But just because you are an introvert, or just because you have a full calendar, you are not off the hook for looking out for and giving a warm welcome to new people in your life and in this church.
In this world filled with people who are lonely and disconnected, Christians need to step in and invite the outsider, the disconnected, the stranger to join us, to build a relationship with us, and to follow Jesus with us.
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