While we might like to think we can live as an island or connect with God without being a part of a church, the truth is, we can’t. We were wired for connection by our Maker, because he is a relational God and so he made us for relationship.
Message
When people talk about being in relationships, we often jump to thoughts of romance, but everyone has a lot more non-romantic than romantic relationships. The question is, are all those relationships healthy?
We typically talk about “health” in terms of physical, emotional or mental wellbeing but often forget to include relational health. When we deal with many relationships with many different people and their many different personalities, it’s common to have some unhealthy and challenging relationships in our lives. Some people experience these challenges only occasionally; others live with the constant struggle of strained relationships.
How’s your relational health? Are your relationships with others healthy and life-giving, or are you surrounded by broken relationships that cause you grief and worry? Maybe your relationships are mostly good, but there’s one (usually with a family member or close friend) that is strained and causes stress in your life.
When I’m in conflict with someone, I am totally stressed out. I absolutely hate being at odds with anyone! It zaps my energy and steals all my focus. I can’t imagine the lives of people who live in a constant state of conflict. If that’s you, I want better for you. I want you to enjoy and experience the life-giving quality of good relationships, exactly as God intended.
The good news is that even if a relationship seems frayed or totally broken today, that doesn’t mean there can’t be healing tomorrow. The series we are starting today – “Closer” – is all about helping you develop better, stronger and closer relationships with your children, your spouse, your extended family, your friends, your co-workers, your neighbors – anyone and everyone. We will look at why we must pursue relationships in our lives, how we can be better friends, what stumbling blocks damage our relationships, and how to remove those barriers.
Our God is a Relational God
A life of healthy relationships is not optional. As humans, we all are wired for relationships! It’s in our DNA, put there by our Maker. We are relational creatures because we were created by a relational God. Many people think of God as this Big Guy sitting up on the clouds isolated from everyone. That’s not the God we worship!
Trinity. Before time began, God was. God always has been. The Bible tells us, “God is Love”; but how could God be a God of love before He ever had someone else to love? Well – before He created us, He already existed in a perfect, harmonious, and balanced relationship: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Love for humanity. God did not NEED to create humanity to have someone to love. Rather, His love was so overflowing that He CHOSE to create humanity to be in a relationship with us. When God created Adam and put him in the Garden of Eden, as we see in the Bible, God walked in the garden and talked to Adam. That’s a picture of the relationship God desired to have with all of us.
Jesus. Unfortunately, because of humans’ sins, mistakes, and propensity toward evil, we broke that perfect relationship God desired to have with us; so He took the initiative to restore the connection. To do that, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth. Jesus had a family; He made friends; He laughed and cried and showed us how to relate to one another in perfect kindness and gentleness. He was a perfect example of the relational health of God, and proves to us how deeply God wants to be in liaison with each of us.
Holy Spirit. Finally, after Jesus died on the cross and ascended to heaven, God again came to us, this time as His Holy Spirit. Now, by the Spirit of God, each of us can have an ongoing, never-ending relationship with God. For the first time in human history we can say that God is always with us and never leaves.
Our Relational God Wired Us for Relationships
Throughout scripture we see examples that prove God wired us to be in relationship with him and with others:
Image of God
If we know all the above is true about our relational God, we must recognize what Genesis 1:27 means when it says we are made in God’s image. He created us to be like Him – to be wired like Him. Obviously, that means we, too, are relational beings.
Adam was Alone
Adam’s first crisis is seen clearly in Genesis 2.
Genesis 2:19-20 – (19) now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. (20) So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
The first problem in this good world God had created was that Adam, the first human created, the one created in God’s relational image, was all alone. So God fixed the problem.
Genesis 2:18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
This verse is not just about marriage; it is about companionship. Marriage is a part of many people’s lives, but it’s not a requirement for everyone. It isn’t in our innate wiring; our wiring is for relationships. Marriage can fill that need; but so can family, close friends, children, teens, single adults, widows and widowers. There doesn’t have to be a Special Someone; but don’t kid yourself – everyone has a need for companionship. It’s not good to be alone.
Establishment of the Church
The New Testament texts regarding our relationship to God assume we are all to be part of a local church. The analogies for the church include “family of God,” “body of Christ,” and the blocks making up the “temple of Christ.” In all these pictures, we see an intimate bond among all of us who put our faith in Jesus.
Some people claim to have a private relationship with God – just Him and them; but that’s simply not the image we see in the Bible. There are 59 “One Another” commands in the Bible. If you are alone at home reading your Daily Bread and watching a television preacher on Sunday, NOT being part of a local church, how can you do any of those 59 “One Another” commands? You can’t, because you’re not supposed to do this alone. You were wired for connection!
Relationally Challenged World
Today’s large and ever-increasing problem is that our culture has become relationally challenged. We used to connect with one another all the time.
- We spoke to a bank teller to cash a check.
- We ate our meals at a table with family and friends and talked about our day.
- We invited people for dinner, or we met up with people at the last minute if we had a night free.
But now all that has changed.
- We schedule our meals with friends three weeks in advance because our calendars are so busy.
- We may sit at the table with others for a meal, but (at least at schools) most people are on their phones and eat in silence.
- In our digital world we can accomplish so much from behind a screen that we have no need for face-to-face connection. We pay our bills, cash our checks, order our groceries, and shop for household needs, all without saying a word to anyone or ever leaving our homes.
The world sees this as technological progress that has made us much more efficient. It also has made us less relational. It has reduced many of our face-to-face interactions. Some people who work from home may go days without talking to a real person.
While we think efficiency is always better, it definitely has not made us happier. As we discussed last week, more and more people struggle with depression and anxiety. Often those people also report the highest levels of loneliness.
Two recent independent studies illustrate our need for relationships. One was done by the University of California at Berkeley and the other by the University of Michigan. Both found that adults who do not cultivate nurturing relationships have premature death rates twice as high as those with frequent, caring contact. James S. House of the University of Michigan said, “The data indicates that social isolation is as significant to mortality as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and lack of physical exercise.”
Opportunities in Front of Us
- Improve relationships with others.
Three truths about your relationships with others:
- Relationships take work.
- The work is worth it.
- Improvement starts with you.
Regardless of how healthy your relationships with others are, there is always room for growth and improvement. This series, “Closer,” will provide a relational checkup to help you examine how open you are to extended relationships with others. You can also identify barriers that create distrust and see what you can do to create stronger bonds with people who may not be easy to connect with.
- Offer relationships to a lonely world.
We have discussed the role of the church as a family. Our church family has an opportunity to open our doors and our arms to many in our community who do not have family – at least not loving and supportive family. Through our relationship with Jesus we can offer grace, forgiveness, support and healing to the brokenhearted. Some may see the church as an exclusive club that exists to serve its members, but Jesus set up the church to be a hospital to offer hope and connection to those who need help. As a loving family, we can offer exactly what this lonely world is most seeking.
- Begin a new relationship with Jesus.
Maybe you are listening to this message and hearing for the first time that God is a relational God who wants a relationship with you. That is the center of the message of Jesus! Everything Jesus did was done to bring God closer to you and you closer to Him.
However, Jesus won’t force you into a relationship with Him. He’s not like that creep who tells everyone you’re seeing each other just because you bumped into him at a coffee shop once. Neither can you say you are connected with Jesus just because your parents took you to church as a child. Your relationship with Jesus is your very own! You can’t ride the coattails of someone else.
Just because you are human, I know that every one of you can recognize that a relationship requires a back-and-forth conversation of knowing each other, sharing how you feel, and responding to each other.
That is what God desires to share with you! He wants to speak to you, lead you, and meet you in your loneliness; but you have to want that yourself. A relationship can’t be one-sided.
If you realize you feel lonely or empty and want something more with God, then I invite you to begin that journey today. All you have to do is tell God that you want more, that you want a back-and-forth relationship with Him. You may be wondering what a relationship with God even looks like; but I promise, if you take that step, God will meet you in this moment.
Communion
Today we have the communion elements set up here on this table. Communion – remembering the Lord’s last supper with His disciples – is a beautiful picture of the relationships we have with God and with one another.
This is not a rite or ceremony we do to please God more. Instead, it is a holy moment of remembering the great love God has lavished on us in sending His son, Jesus, to die in our place. It remembers our relational God and what He did to mend our broken relationship with Him.
Because we are called to take communion together as the church, the family of God, it is a picture of how we all connect with one another. In a world full of differences, we are all one at the communion table. There is no rich or poor, white or black, Republican or Democrat. At the table, our central relationship to one another is the bond we share with Jesus our Savior.
Please take a moment to thank God for the many relationships He has given you to care for, and thank Him for the relationship He began.
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