Forgive Them

In Kids’ Church today, our children will begin a series in which they wlll learn about the life of job, and how God was with job even in the middle of his suffering.

Did I say “job”? I meant “Job.” Forgive me, please.

I hope you have all forgiven me for this minor error. After all, I didn’t actually inflict any real pain on any of you. Mea culpa.

But what if, when we are leaving today, I backed into your car; and even though my insurance would cover it, your insurance premium would go up at your next renewal? I’ve just done something that will cost you something. Would you forgive me then? I hope you would. After all, it WAS an accident.

But what if you and I got cross about something, and in a heated discussion I let anger get the best of me and said something completely offensive. That becomes a little harder to forgive, doesn’t it?

I don’t want to take this analogy any further for fear of making you wonder how evil I might be! However, you have all had people do things far worse than any of that, haven’t you?

Perhaps your parents were never around when you were growing up, or they spoke hurtful and condemning words over you and ruined your sense of self-worth. Perhaps you were in a relationship in which the other person verbally, emotionally, or even physically abused you, and you still bear the scars.

Maybe at work you were accused of doing something you didn’t do; or maybe someone took credit for something you did do. Likely people have spoken about you behind your back, lied to you, put you down, and even laughed at your misery.

Sadly, none of these scenarios is rare. Over a lifetime, it’s common to have people wrong you in all sorts of ways; and in those moments, it is very human to want JUSTICE!  Forgiveness becomes a lot tougher, and vengeance sounds better. We want the wrongs to be made right. We want the people who have hurt us to experience their own hurt.

The Bible tells us we were made in the image of God, and God is a God of justice; so it makes sense that we have a defined sense of right and wrong. We want people who do evil to pay a price for that.

The Bible also tells us it is not our job to enact that justice ourselves. History shows us that individuals trying to handle things themselves often go too far. Things don’t end up even, they end up escalating.

Instead, the Bible allows the ruling authority to administer justice, and ultimately we leave it up to God.

Romans 12:9 – Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I willl repay, says the Lord.”

When you are wronged, when people do awful things to you, if you can’t get even, if you can’t seek justice on your own terms, then what are you supposed to do? Forgive. Forgive even if they did something absolutely terrible to you. Just like you forgave me for saying “job” instead of “Job,” you also need to forgive the BIG issues. As Christians, we are people of forgiveness because we worship a God who forgave us.

The Crucifixion and Prayer

Today we will look at the profound prayer Jesus prayed for everyone who harmed him in the days leading up to His crucifixion. If you have your Bible, please open it to Luke 23:33.

The last 24 hours of Jesus’s life were miserable. He was all alone. No one stood with Him.

• Judas betrayed Him.
• Peter denied Him.
• Religious leaders had Him arrested and then falsely accused Him.
• Roman soldiers ridiculed, mocked, and beat Him.
• The crowd cried “Crucify Him!”
• Pilate washed his hands of Him.
• Even the criminal hanging next to Him insulted Him.

That’s Jesus’s experience of the past day. It had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! However, it’s in this moment of pain that Jesus utters a surprising prayer of forgiveness.

Luke 23:33-34 – 33When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. 34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

In this moment of pain and agony, when everyone has turned away from Him, Jesus is not seeking His own vengeance. He isn’t even seeking God’s righteous justice and wrath. Instead, He is asking God to forgive them. I know this is a short prayer, but there is much we can learn from Jesus’s words.

What Was Jesus Asking For?

Notice Jesus doesn’t say what we might have expected: “I forgive them.” Instead, He prays for God to forgive them. This begs the question: Are we supposed to ask God to forgive the people around us? If we ask God to forgive our kids and our neighbors, are they forgiven, washed clean, with a free pass to heaven as a result of our prayer?

I think most of you recognize that the obvious answer to that question is NO. No, you cannot be the one who stands between God and sinners, offering up prayers asking for forgiveness for those who have no recognition of their sin or their need for a savior. If that were the case, then we should all grab phone books and start praying through the list of names.

So if that’s not what Jesus is asking for, then what is He asking?

I believe Jesus is jumping a couple of steps ahead in His prayer, revealing His own heart attitude and what must first happen for God to forgive anyone.

The prayer implies Jesus has already forgiven. First, in asking God to bring down His righteous judgment from heaven, we see that Jesus has already forgiven all these people who have wronged Him. He’s not holding a grudge, wishing for their demise, or asking God to bring down His righteous judgment from heaven. No, by asking God to forgive them, we can see that Jesus’s heart has already moved to a place of tender forgiveness, wanting what’s best for them rather than seeking their pain.

The prayer implies a desire for repentance. Second, Jesus knows God doesn’t forgive anyone who doesn’t first repent and turn from their sin; so by asking God to forgive them, He is in essence asking for God to turn their hearts to Him. He is praying for God to help them see their error, repent of this outrageous sin of crucifying the Son of God, and in so doing, to seek their own cleansing forgiveness from God. His desire is that all should come to repentance.

The prayer models HOW to forgive. Jesus’s prayer is not necessarily a model for us to follow in expecting that we can automatically have anybody’s sins forgiven. However, it is a model in showing us how to forgive. In a single moment, Jesus teaches a great deal about forgiveness and His desire for all those responsible for His death to ultimately receive His saving work and experience eternal life.

Who Was Jesus Praying For?

The next question we must dig into a bit is this: Who is Jesus praying for? “Forgive them.” Who is “them”?

• Is it only the criminals on His right and on His left?
• Is it the soldiers who have nailed Him to the cross and are beneath Him, mocking Him and telling Him to save Himself?
• Is it the religious leaders who ultimately are responsible for putting Him on the cross in the first place?
• What about Judas and Peter and Pilate?

All these people were wrong. They were selfish, and they sinned against the Holy One of God. All of them were complicit in Jesus’s situation as He hung from a cross, gasping for breath. From our vantage point, it’s easy to condemn the actions of these people, but we likely would have done the same thing in their position.

How many times have you shrunk back from saying something when you heard people talking negatively about God?

How many times have you mocked someone for being different from you?

How many times have you joined in “group think” and got into something you later regretted being a part of?

How many times have you tried to ignore a situation you knew was wrong, but you just wanted to wash your hands of it rather than intervene?

This is what makes Jesus’s words so powerful. He wasn’t extending forgiveness just for the sins of those who wronged Him on this horrible, evil day. He was extending that same forgiveness to each one of us for the ways we have sinned and done evil in our own lives. We are just as culpable as those long-ago people for nailing Jesus to that cross. And yet, as He hung there, His words were for us: “FORGIVE THEM; THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DO.”

Lessons Learned

Now that we’ve discerned what Jesus was asking for, and whom He wanted God’s forgiveness to reach, we can look at what this prayer teaches us about forgiveness.

• Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. People often talk about “working on forgiving” someone. Sometimes we act as though it might take years to forgive another person. Yet, here we see Jesus forgiving in the moment. He’s not waiting until His emotions calm down and He can see clearly. He doesn’t have many moments left. He CHOOSES to forgive. In His head and in His heart, He knows He MUST let go of anger, resentment, and a desire for God to judge them for their wrong. After all, Jesus Himself said He did not come to condemn the world, but to save it! (John 3:17).
• Nothing is too big or bad to be forgiven. Remember all the ways people had just wronged Jesus with a variety of hurts, great and small. Peter denied knowing Him. That’s very sad, but that wasn’t the reason Jesus was hanging on the cross. He was there because of the jealousy of the Pharisees, who had been trying to silence Him since He began His ministry. They had opposed Him at every turn, and yet we see Jesus living out His own words about loving one’s enemies and praying for those who persecute you.
• Nobody is too undeserving to be forgiven. I’m sure Jesus had empathy for Peter. He loved Peter and had spent three years with him. It would be easy to forgive Peter. Judas, on the other hand, might be more challenging. Yes, he was a disciple who had been with Jesus for years, but his betrayal revealed his own lack of character. The Roman soldiers were stooges who gleefully tormented Jesus and thrust the crown of thorns on His head. They beat Him and then asked which one hit Him. They cast lots for His clothes and offered Him wine vinegar to drink. They had no redeemable qualities and no relationship with Jesus. Why would they deserve any mercy and forgiveness for their actions? Yet Jesus forgave them, too.”They know not what they do.” He sees their ignorance and has pity on them.
• Forgiveness sets you free. This is a very important point that can give you the motivation to actually forgive someone.

When someone wrongs you, it doesn’t really affect them. Weeks, months or years later, they aren’t replaying what they did to you over and over in their heads. They probably never even give it a second thought, and they aren’t waiting for you to come and tell them you have forgiven them. They have likely moved on.

However, when you hold on to unforgiveness, it holds you back and keeps you from moving on. When you are angry or resentful, or when you blame someone else for your pain, you are actually giving them power over you. Forgiveness is taking your power back!

Jesus knew He was about to depart from this earth. He had no reason to hold on. He needed to deal with the business of forgiveness in His own heart so He could move on to the next phase of His mission: glorification.

In the same way, if you feel stuck, if you keep playing those hurtful words or that traumatizing event over and over in your mind, it’s time to forgive and find the freedom God wants for you. That why He so clearly teaches that we need to be people who forgive. He knows the alternative is that we imprison ourselves in our own minds.

Acts 7:55, 59, 60 – 55But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 59While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

Somehow, just like Jesus, in the middle of such undeserving people doing such a heinous offense against him, Stephen chose to forgive. I cannot imagine being in that situation and still having clarity of mind to pray “Don’t hold this sin against them.” I know the detail about Stephen being full of the Holy Spirit was included for a reason. The Spirit helped him do what we struggle to do on our own.

How Do You Know You’ve Forgiven Someone?

Today I want each of you to examine your heart to see if there is any unforgiveness there. In my own experience, when I have been asked to do that, I have wondered, “How do I know I have ACTUALLY forgiven them? Here are a few signs that help you know whether you have SAID you’ve forgiven someone or if you actually have.

• You release all signs of anger and any bitterness or grudge.
• You don’t look to get even. You don’t feel happy when bad things happen to that person.
• You are able to genuinely pray for them and for their well-being.

If you can say “Yes” to all three of those, congratulations! You have found forgiveness. However, if you have tried to forgive someone but you can’t answer “Yes” to these signs, then you aren’t done yet. You have work to do to fully forgive.

Whom Do You Need to Forgive?

Here’s my final question for you today: is there anyone you still need to CHOOSE to forgive? Is there someone whose offense you feel was too great or their character too undeserving for you to forgive them? As you read the list of signs that help you know you have forgiven, is it clear that you still hold a grudge against someone? Do you want to see justice (and by “justice” do you really mean “vengeance”)?

If you have unforgiveness in your heart today, it’s time to let it go. It’s time to choose to be free. It’s time to ask the Holy Spirit to help you truly let go and forgive the person. Not only that, but rather than seeking God’s wrath for that person, pray for God to turn that person to repentance and salvation.

Stop holding the hurt. That day is here. It’s today. Forgive. Forgiving this person is not a release of responsibility or putting aside healthy boundaries with that person, but it is releasing the anger and resentment.

Conclusion and Communion

Today is the first Sunday of the month, and as is our practice, we will take communion together. Communion is the beautiful reminder of what today’s message is all about: Jesus’s forgiveness of our sins. Regardless of what you have done, big or small, and regardless of how undeserving you are, Jesus chose to forgive you. More than that, He prayed that you would one day recognize your sin, turn to God, and seek forgiveness for yourself. When you take communion today you are saying, “I accept that I am a sinner saved by grace.”

If you have never made that commitment in your heart – if you’ve never turned from your sin and asked Jesus to make you completely new on the inside – then I ask that you let the communion plate pass by. This is a holy, sacred moment reserved only for those who have joined Team Jesus and who have chosen to follow Him with every part of their lives.