When Somebody Quits
Have you ever felt abandoned? Maybe by a parent or a spouse? If so, I’m sure it had a permanent impact on you. Maybe it was something smaller, like a friend cutting you off or a coworker who unexpectedly quit. At some point in life, all of us have had somebody quit on us. It’s common, and it hurts.
I hoped to find a story of people quitting on others to share with you, but when I Googled the topic, everything that came up was about never giving up. It became clear to me that here in America we place a high value on not giving up, not quitting, and not abandoning others. We elevate those who push through the struggle. This is the plot of countless biographies and movies. We love the story of the hero who perseveres and pushes through and finally finds success.
Still, there is the occasional moment when a celebrity or professional athlete quits on his team. Some of you may remember that a little over a year ago, Antonio Brown quit on his team in the middle of a game. He was an incredible NFL wide receiver, but he had some personality flaws that caused him to bounce from team to team. Fortunately, he was friends with Tom Brady, and Brady wanted to play with Brown. He talked his team, the Buccaneers, into giving Brown a chance. The two had exceptional success together for many games, until something happened to upset Antonio Brown. So, in the middle of the third quarter of a game, with his team losing, Brown took off his jersey and pads on the sidelines and jogged across the field to the locker room while the game went on.
You can imagine the response from his teammates and coaches, and in the media. He was vilified by journalists. He was released from the team permanently and never played another game in the NFL. Fans across the nation were fed up with somebody who would quit on his team in the middle of the game! A nation who elevates perseverance through the struggle has no place for a quitter who abandons his teammates.
Yet, while all of us have experienced abandonment, we likely have all been on the other side of that equation, too. All of us have left and caused someone to feel abandoned.
- You quit a job with friends you liked working with.
- You moved, and left your friends and neighbors.
- You changed churches, leaving behind years of connections with a church family.
I’m not saying you are awful people and a bunch of quitters. Life changes, and sometimes you have to make the difficult decisions to move on. Perhaps you have quit on somebody because the situation was too challenging, too exhausting, and too overwhelming. That’s what Antonio Brown was feeling in the middle of that football game. Unfortunately, making such a decision often leaves others feeling deserted and abandoned.
There’s a bit of complexity in these situations. It’s not always so white and black as saying the one who quits is the enemy. Yet, we also recognize that quitting in the middle of a struggle is not a virtue we hold high. We will plunge into this gray area today as we look at the life of John Mark.
What We Know About John Mark
John Mark is not a leading man in the books of the Bible. Even so, from this little-thought-about person we can learn a lot about desertion, reconciliation and perseverance.
John Mark first appears by name in the book of Acts, after Jesus has lived, died, and ascended into Heaven. The unusual thing is that John Mark’s first appearance in Acts is almost like a footnote. It is in the story of Peter being freed from jail by an angel. When Peter gets out, Acts 12:12 says, “he went to the home of Mary, the mother of John Mark, where many were gathered for prayer.” John Mark is mentioned because of his status as the son of the owner of the house where the Christians met in Jerusalem.
In Colossians 4:10 we see another family connection: John Mark was a cousin of Barnabas. The Apostle Peter, leader of the early church, refers to John Mark as his “son” in his first letter in the Bible. Obviously John Mark and Peter were close.
Most importantly, it is widely believed that John Mark is the author of the first gospel written about Jesus, the book of Mark. I say “widely believed” because the gospel of Mark doesn’t directly say who wrote it. However, the writings of early church fathers attributed the gospel to Mark, and evidence from within the book lines up with the experiences Mark would have had in his life. John Mark is the likely author of the book of Mark, and this is what qualifies him as a hero of the faith. As the writer of a gospel about Jesus, he is the first person to write down the stories he heard about Jesus from Peter and the other disciples.
Mark’s Failed Missionary Journey
Now to the part of Mark’s life we need to discuss today, his part in Paul’s first missionary journey. The short version of the story goes like this:
Paul was a devout Jew who hated the new beliefs about Jesus, so he rounded up Christians to arrest them and throw them in prison. One day Jesus stopped him on the road to Damascus, and Paul changed his purpose from stopping the spread of Christianity to being the primary missionary of Christianity outside of Jerusalem. After he became a Christian, he went to Tarsus to study and grow in his faith.
In the meantime, a church was growing in Antioch, and the church leaders in Jerusalem sent Barnabas to support the new church. With the church’s continued growth, Barnabas realized he needed help, so he went to Tarsus and persuaded Paul to come back with him and help disciple this fast-growing church. A year later, during a prayer meeting, the Holy Spirit told the church to send Barnabas and Paul out as missionaries to spread the gospel.
This is where we pick up our story today.
Acts 13:4-5 – So Barnabas and Saul were sent out by the Holy Spirit. They went down to the seaport of Seleucia and then sailed for the island of Cyprus. 5 There, in the town of Salamis, they went to the Jewish synagogues and preached the word of God. John Mark went with them as their assistant.
Again, John Mark is simply a side-note to the story. Paul and Barnabas are the main missionaries, but Mark experiences all the challenges and victories that Paul does.
Paul had a showdown with a sorcerer who assisted the governor of Paphos, and Paul darkened the eyes of the sorcerer so the governor would believe in Jesus. Afterward, we read these lines:
Acts 13:13-14 – Paul and his companions then left Paphos by ship for Pamphylia, landing at the port town of Perga. There John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem. 14 But Paul and Barnabas traveled inland to Antioch of Pisidia.
We have no idea why John Mark left. Maybe he missed his mom. Maybe he was seasick. Maybe he felt like his presence was of no help, which made him feel like a third wheel. There could have been any number of reasons – some more valid than others – but ultimately we never are told. I don’t think it’s really very important.
Luke, who wrote the book of Acts, recorded this as a small detail with no importance. However, when we jump ahead in the story, we see that this moment was significant to Paul. After completing their first journey and planting several churches, Paul and Barnabas return to Antioch; and after a while, they decide to go back out and visit the churches they began.
Acts 15:36-40 – After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” 37 Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. 38 But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. 39 Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. 40 Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care.
Based on the short notes included in Chapter 13, it doesn’t seem that Mark heading home was a big deal at all. Now we find that it was. Paul felt abandoned and deserted in the middle of the game. As a result, he didn’t want to take the field with Mark again. He lost all confidence in Mark.
I imagine Paul recognized the incredible contrast between himself and Mark. After just a little adversity, Mark bailed. As for Paul, later in that journey when he was stoned and dragged out of a city and left for dead, he woke up, got up off the ground, and marched right back into that city to continue preaching the Gospel.
On the other hand, Barnabas (whose name means “encouragement”) wanted to include his cousin again. He wanted to give him a second chance. Remember, Barnabas is the one who went and brought Paul into ministry after Paul went to Tarsus.
Paul isn’t as gracious as Barnabas. They disagree so deeply that it leads them to separate and go on two different journeys.
Please note that in the middle of this conflict, nothing is said about either Paul or Barnabas being in the wrong. This is a bonus point from today’s message: Two people can see things from two different viewpoints, and that’s fine. Sometimes, in the middle of conflict, nobody is actually wrong. Even better, God uses this conflict to continue expanding and strengthening His church.
The Rest of the Story
Back to the story at hand. We don’t hear of John Mark again in the book of Acts. It’s as if he began a ministry with Paul, flamed out, and is never heard from again. But clearly that wasn’t the end for Mark because he is mentioned at the ends of three of Paul’s letters that are included in the Bible. For example, in Philemon Paul lists Mark and others as his fellow workers.
Philemon 23-24 – 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
And then, in the last letter Paul ever wrote, when he was facing the end of his life, he ends the letter this way:
2 Timothy 4:11 – Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.
Obviously something changed. We are never told what happened or when these two made amends, but Mark and Paul clearly were reconciled, and Paul didn’t hold a permanent grudge for Mark quitting on him.
Lessons Learned from Mark’s Life
The first lesson we need to learn from this story is: if someone quits on you, don’t hold that against them forever. Yes, it hurts when somebody gives up on you. Like Paul, you might feel deserted and even in great pain, but we are called to forgive. We must remember the times we have quit on others. In those moments, how did we want to be treated? Don’t write that person off forever.
Second: if you have been the person who quit, who gave up, know that quitting doesn’t have to be forever. You can re-engage. So often, after giving up on something or somebody, you feel such a sense of shame that you never want to go back. You don’t want to show your face again for fear of what people will think of you. Remember, though, that God is a God who gives second chances.
- And so, if you quit God for a while because of hurt or pain, try to re-engage.
- If you quit church during the pandemic and now it feels strange to go back, stop worrying about how it will feel. Do what you know God wants you to do. Get back in the game and join in the ministry of a local church.
- If you were worn out from a ministry you helped with, don’t feel guilty. Instead find refreshment and find a place to serve. Maybe that’s just going back to where you were, and maybe it means finding something new that is a better fit.
- Maybe you quit on your family. Perhaps you disengaged from your parents or maybe your marriage ended, and you’re thinking “Ryan, I can’t re-engage with THAT PERSON. That ship has sailed.” I understand that. Sometimes what’s done is done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to make amends. Bring peace wherever it’s possible.
All of this points to the final lesson we can learn from this story. Our Christian journey is all about perseverance to the end. We have all fallen down, given up, and quit on people, jobs, churches, and ministries. We can’t, however, be people who are defined by quitting. Instead, we must see it as only a moment – a moment before we pick ourselves up, redirect our efforts, and get back in the game. As long as we have breath, we have purpose in the Kingdom of God on this earth.
Conclusion
We have no idea why Mark quit on Paul and Barnabas. From our perspective, it would be easy to vilify him for what he did. We could hang him out to dry and write him off as one who had no place in moving God’s church forward.
But – praise God – Barnabas didn’t let that happen. He gave Mark a second chance. Mark seized the opportunity and didn’t give up on himself. As a result, Paul had a helpful ministry partner later in life, and we have the book of Mark in our Bibles.
In the same way, we can’t give up on those have given up on us in one way or another. Maybe, because of the situation, we will never be in close relationship with that person again, but we can’t hold grudges and unforgiveness in our hearts. We have to forgive.
If the person who abandoned you is a Christian, it is especially important to seek reconciliation and try to support that person in re-engaging with God and a church family. You may never have the same relationship with that person, and maybe they never come back to your church. The hope is that they will stay the course with God, finding ways to serve Him all the days of their life.
Life is long, and there will be times when someone comes to the end of the rope and gives up. Sometimes other people will do it to you; sometimes you will do it to others. But by God’s grace, in these situations we strive to help others find their footing again. If you are the one who has lost it, look for a hand to help you get back up. We are not called to be perfect; we ARE called to persevere.
0 Comments